Guys! I'm cool now!

I'm half ginger by nature.

When my dad was younger, he had bright red hair. But, as we know, red hair is a recessive gene, and my mom has dark brown hair.

I've always wanted red hair. It's so pretty... and it looks like it's on fire when the sun hits it.

So last spring I said "What the heck!" and died it red.

It was a lot of fun for a while, and I really liked the way it looked.
But then it started growing out.

When the roots got really bad that summer, I decided that I've had my fun, and it was time to turn it back to my original hair color. I went to dye it back, but then it turned into this weird, orangey-blondish-brownish color. Like... I don't think this color was even invented until that very moment.

Exhibit A: Last summer. 

To my dismay it was not my original hair color. It also looked terrible because the dye was really damaging it. So... I had three options.

1. Go bald trying to dye my hair back to my original color
2. Shave it all off and start over
3. Let it grow out and have the worst hair year of your life

Since the third option was the only one that left the hair on my head, I chose that one. 

With every month my roots push away the remainder of the odd color I unknowingly cursed myself with. 

I'm half ginger. Like actually... half. Ginger. 

But it's ok, guys. Because I'm cool. 

Behold. 

It's called ombre. 

It's totally in. 

And it's totally what I was going for.

Don't feel bad that I'm eons ahead of you simpletons. If you try to catch up you might be as chic as me someday. ;)

The One About Modesty...

 

Now wait a second.

Before I go on with this one, I want to make you sure of something.

Every Christian girl has gone through the "modesty" talk at one point in her life. I don't want to bring about any sort of PTSD flashbacks of various awkward summer camp/youth group "Girl Talks." (You know this has happened to you at least once!)

This is a different talk on modesty. It's not going to be about what I think is or isn't modest, or how I think you should or shouldn't dress. It's quite the contrary.

This is actually me ranting a little bit. 

And by ranting, I'm not by any means saying that modesty is "bad" or "wrong." Modesty is biblical, and to say that it isn't would be a lie. God wants us to dress modestly. But what does that mean? 

To a lot of people, modesty has a "what not to wear" list. Some people go harder on this list than others, and sometimes, when someone strays from the "list," they're approached for being immodest.

I don't like the list. 

I mean, obviously there are just some things you shouldn't wear. Like this.

Work it.

But there are a lot of variables that we don't really take into account, and these are the things I want to talk about. 

Culture

I really think that modesty is relevant to culture. To dress appropriately in Brazil might not be the same as it would be in Pakistan. It's totally normal to see a woman's midriff in India, but there are other standards of dressing there that we wouldn't even consider. Does that mean they're wrong and we're right?

Each culture has different aspects of the opposite sex that they find sensual. For some cultures it's legs, for others it's the midriff, etc. So we see people in those cultures covering up differently. It's when you wear something that draws attention to what's sensual in that culture that you start getting stares.

Time Period
Somewhat related to culture, modesty is also in a lot of ways relevant to time period. A culture's ideas of what's physically attractive changes over time. It was at one point scandalous to show your ears! Obviously most people can look at ears now without a second thought. At another point it was ok to wear a low-cut dress, but it was incredibly inappropriate to show your ankles. Style and fashion fluctuate so much over time, that it would be impossible to keep a single standard of how to dress.

Body Type

This one is huge, and I think it's one that isn't considered at all through the "list" mentality. We aren't all given the same body type, so we can't exactly dress it the same way. Tank tops can show too much skin on one girl and be totally fine for another. The same shorts could look too short on one girl and the right length on another. And that leads me to yet another thing that annoys me: The "fingertip test." 

If you've never had to do the fingertip test, it goes like this: If you naturally let your hands fall at your sides, wherever your fingertips are, that's where the hem of your shorts should be. That's all fine and good... but for me, my arms are like this.

And my fingers are like this.

So you can imagine my frustration.

Activities

There are a lot of sports or activities that call for uniforms or articles of clothing we wouldn't typically wear all the time. You wouldn't wear a leotard to church. You wouldn't wear a swimsuit to the store. But does that make those things immodest?
My opinion is no.
There are certain sports and activities that require the uniforms they have, not to be "flashy" or "sexy," but for practicality's sake (unless you're the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders...)

Then there are swimsuits.
This one is a delicate topic, and it hits a nerve in every Christian in one way or another. I honestly still don't know exactly where I stand. There are some Christians who can, with a clear conscience, wear bikinis. I'm not personally one of those people (but I'm definitely not condemning anyone who does!)
There are obviously tons of swimsuits that are designed to show off our "assets" in the most provocative ways possible, but not all of them are built like that. My general opinion is this: Swimming at all is risky in terms of modesty, because water likes to cling to fabric. And pull things down... or off...
This renders it impossible to be as modest as you typically are, no matter what. It's not everyone's attitude to wear swimsuits that expose things they don't usually expose-- sometimes it just happens! So my "rule" would be to wear something practical while covering up the obvious, stay away from anything that can be easily undone (or seriously double-knot that sucker), and go swimming. The good news is that one pieces are making a comeback! There are actually a lot of really cute "retro" swimsuits that are coming out that are really cute and cover stuff up.

Attitude

This one is being neglected by a lot of Christian circles too, and I think it's really important to note.

I could wear a turtleneck, a headdress, a jumper and a Snuggie and still be immodest. How?
Modesty doesn't only lie in how you dress, but your attitude.
If you're acting in a way that distracts you or others, whether by bragging or flirting, you're being immodest.

If we have the right attitude, we don't want to be a distraction to guys. Sometimes girls go a little overboard in constantly worrying about being a "stumbling block" to boys. Even though it's a good thing to be conscious of our "menfolk" (lol), it's impossible to please everyone. If we got every guy's opinion of what they found distracting or immodest and dressed ourselves with that list in mind, we would be walking around like this.

And I don't think that's very practical... :P

And men (if there are any men brave enough to make it this far), we aren't responsible for your thought lives. We should definitely do what we can to not be a distraction to you, but ultimately it isn't on us, just like it isn't on you if we have struggles with our thoughts. We all have the power to think about anything we want, but that doesn't mean we should. ;P

Sometimes, in the same way that girls use the way they dress to attract attention from the opposite sex, they can also use the way they dress to gain acceptance in whatever social circle they're in. Even Christian ones. Some girls could be following "the list" to perfection because they believe that those rules are right. Other girls might just be following them to fit in with the girls who go by the list, but wind up dressing just to please other people. Either way, God doesn't want us to constantly worry and obsess about how we look on any level. He doesn't want us to constantly worry or obsess about anything, really.

He wants us to lean on Him.

Which is why it's important not to try to please other people with how we dress. This is where we go wrong with modesty.
I remember one of the teachers at Summit Ministries saying, "Purity isn't a line, it's a direction."
If purity was a line, we'd just try to get as close as we could to it without stepping over it. If it's a direction, we look to God for guidance on how we dress and behave. This is how we need to approach this. We need more God and less us... in every sense of the phrase. ;)

So that's my opinion on modesty. Maybe I've opened a can of worms... but I honestly hope that I didn't step on anyone's toes!

What are your thoughts?

Memory Monday: Firstborn Homeschooler

For this one, I have to go back to a very disturbing phase of my life. It rests on the theory of the firstborn homeschooler.

The firstborn homeschool theory: A phenomenon where the firstborn of any homeschooled family takes the longest to develop a sense of style. Once they start to catch on, their siblings tend to follow suit, and crisis is eventually averted. 

Of course there are exceptions to this theory, but I definitely was not one of them. Eleven through twelve was my all time low, and unfortunately I just couldn't find any pictures from that period. Oh well.

Things started to get a little better at thirteen, but there was a pivotal moment that will forever stick out in my mind as one of the ugliest things I've ever worn. In my life. Like... ever.

My uncle was getting married. It was a formal event, and I needed a nice dress to wear. At this point, my mom was also going through a phase: the matchy-matchy phase. She told me that I had to find a dress that would at least coordinate with what my sisters were wearing. I really don't know why. I didn't even think much of it at that point, I just went with it.

The dress hunt began a couple weeks before the wedding was supposed to take place. My sisters all had these matching cream-colored dresses that were... well, cute on them because they were younger. Being the oldest, I was also the guinea pig. My mom wasn't ok with certain styles back then that she's totally fine with now.

The time was drawing near, and I was getting dangerously close to the wedding with no luck. After dragging myself from store to store and having dress after dress rejected, I limply fell into an obscure dress store at the mall. There was a dress hanging up that matched my sisters, my mom was cool with it, and it actually fit me. For these reasons I tiredly surrendered and bought the dress.

There was only one problem.
It was hideous. 

What you are about to see is very disturbing. If you are faint of heart and/or have a weak stomach, I suggest you look away from your screen.

I'm not really too hard to spot in these pictures. I'm workin' it. My dress looks like Frosty the Snowman and a prom from 1976 had a baby. My Nancy Drew haircut and super white girl dance moves didn't really work in my favor, either.

Although I was extremely awkward and looked like I was cosplaying as an 80 year old woman, it was one of the coolest weddings I've ever been to, and I did have a great time that night. Maybe that's one thing I do miss from my awkward years: I looked awkward, but I didn't feel like it. Now I feel awkward, but I don't look like it (at least not as much). :P

I didn't crawl out of this vortex of terrible clothing choices until I was 14, and then my judgement kept bobbing and weaving as my sense of style developed slowly throughout the years. Now I'd say that I look fairly normal, but there are probably some people who would beg to differ.

Red pants are cool. 

Fashion!

(Photos not mine)

One of the ways I'm a total girly-girl is my love for clothes.

I find it funny that when I was little, getting clothes was so boring. Toys were so much more exciting. I think once we get older, clothes, in a way, become some of the new "toys" we can play with. We can change up our style and have a lot of fun with the things we wear.

My style has changed a lot over the years... I went through my infamous "dork" period. That was my lowest point. Like, low as in stirrup pants and oversized cartoon shirts low. Pair that lovely ensemble with my frizzy hair, braces and acne and you had my typical look at the age of thirteen (hubba hubba).

Then I became aware of my wrongs and went in the opposite direction, trying to dress as trendy as possible to "fit in" with everyone else. My self-esteem was pretty low then, and I figured that people would accept me more if I dressed cooler. :P Sadly with some people this could've worked, but I probably wouldn't have made the right friends that way...

Now I'm a lot more comfortable with how people see me, and I don't really care as much if my clothes have the name of the store stamped on it. (Although I really like American Eagle... haha :)

Although on typical days I have my regular uniform of t-shirts, jeans and hoodies, here are some of the styles I'm really getting into.

Shoes

Ballet Flats: I think all girls should have a pair of these babies. :) They're so versatile! You could wear them with jeans and a t-shirt, or you could wear them with your church clothes. :) They're pretty comfortable, too.

Heels: I've just discovered heels. I don't really wear them too often because they kind of hurt my feet and I'm still walking in them like a newborn horse... but they're definitely fun to wear

when you want to feel all "classy" and stuff.

Boooooooootttttttssssss!!!! Who doesn't love boots? I love boots. Army guys love boots. Celebrities love boots. Puss In Boots loves boots...

I don't have a pair of these boots, but I love how flexible they can be. They mostly look good with jeans, but I've seen people pair them with dresses for a more cool, casual look.

Also, I'm proud to announce that boots and heels got married and have given birth to a baby girl. Her name is Fioni. Isn't she beautiful?

Fionis are so cool. I think if you put them up to your ear, you can hear the sound of their awesomeness.

They're so unique and vintage, I love it. I've seen so many fun outfits put together with these.

And you can't forget Converse, which go with pretty much anything, as far as I'm concerned. :)

Accessories

So I'm not really huge on accessories. I rarely ever wear them. Buuuut, I think they're fun, so I'll still do a quick little section about them.

Peacock Feather Accessories: These are sweeeeet. I totally want some of these.

Scarves are probably one of my most-worn accessories. They're one of those accessories that are actually stylish and practical: they're pretty, and they keep your neck warm. (Come to think of it... what could possess anyone to poke holes in their earlobes and hang things from them in the first place...?)

I love any kind of Flower Embellishment! They're just another one of those things that

make you happy to be a girl. They're pretty, timeless and feminine, and they're welcome on my shirts, my shoes, and in my hair. :)

And you gotta love Tights. I've always done the "boring" (or "classic," depending on how you look at it) black tights, but maybe someday if I'm feeling adventurous I'll pick up some of these...

Outfits

So in case you didn't notice from some of the things I've shown you thus far, I love just about anything Vintage.

This being one of the examples.

It's just so fun! I love how clothes from the 40's-70's are coming back with a modern twist. You can see this the most if you try shopping at American Eagle, Forever 21, and H&M.

I think every girl plays "favorites" with one article of clothing. Karissa loves shoes. I love Dresses. That may come as a shock to some people, since I'm always wearing jeans. :P Buut, if I had the choice, I think I'd definitely wear more dresses if I could solve the dilemma of dress length. Does anyone find it annoying that most dresses now are either so short they could serve as shirts, or so long you wind up tripping over them? They're either minis or maxis... I want an in-between...y. :P *annoyed sigh* Moving on.

Ask my sisters, and they will tell you how annoyed they are with how much I love lace. Some

people think lace is ugly. Some people think it makes you look like a doily.

I am not one of those people.

I know the key words here for today are "pretty," and "feminine," but what other words can you use to describe lace?

I also kinda have a thing for Skinny Jeans. But, hold on a sec... you have to be a little careful with them. Because there are skinny jeans, then there are SKINNY JEANS. I've seen people who look like they had their skinny jeans painted onto their bodies. So... just keep that in mind. ;) Skinny jeans are fun to pair with a lot of different things, from t-shirts to blouses.

You no longer need a boyfriend to give you his Varsity Jacket... Now you can just go out and just buy one of these little pretties. (Pay no attention to the girl on the left... I'm talking about the coat on the right but couldn't find a better picture. lol) They're cool, and they look pretty warm, too. It's definitely on my list of things to get before it gets too warm out.

And last but not least, the Peacoat Jacket. I've seen a rise in these recently, and I think they're pretty freakin' awesome. Especially this one. (Isn't it so... green?!?!)

So we come to an end on our little journey through the wonderful world of fashion.

A couple morals here:

1. Don't make the same mistake I did! Don't wear things just to feel "accepted" by other people.
2. From a Christian viewpoint, we want to try and honor God in everything we do. What we wear is no exception. Try to be respectful to God and others in the way you dress. Keep in mind, though, that doesn't mean we have to wear turtlenecks for the rest of our lives! There are plenty of cute things that are still modest and cover all the things that, well... don't need to be seen by the public. ;)