The One About Modesty...

 

Now wait a second.

Before I go on with this one, I want to make you sure of something.

Every Christian girl has gone through the "modesty" talk at one point in her life. I don't want to bring about any sort of PTSD flashbacks of various awkward summer camp/youth group "Girl Talks." (You know this has happened to you at least once!)

This is a different talk on modesty. It's not going to be about what I think is or isn't modest, or how I think you should or shouldn't dress. It's quite the contrary.

This is actually me ranting a little bit. 

And by ranting, I'm not by any means saying that modesty is "bad" or "wrong." Modesty is biblical, and to say that it isn't would be a lie. God wants us to dress modestly. But what does that mean? 

To a lot of people, modesty has a "what not to wear" list. Some people go harder on this list than others, and sometimes, when someone strays from the "list," they're approached for being immodest.

I don't like the list. 

I mean, obviously there are just some things you shouldn't wear. Like this.

Work it.

But there are a lot of variables that we don't really take into account, and these are the things I want to talk about. 

Culture

I really think that modesty is relevant to culture. To dress appropriately in Brazil might not be the same as it would be in Pakistan. It's totally normal to see a woman's midriff in India, but there are other standards of dressing there that we wouldn't even consider. Does that mean they're wrong and we're right?

Each culture has different aspects of the opposite sex that they find sensual. For some cultures it's legs, for others it's the midriff, etc. So we see people in those cultures covering up differently. It's when you wear something that draws attention to what's sensual in that culture that you start getting stares.

Time Period
Somewhat related to culture, modesty is also in a lot of ways relevant to time period. A culture's ideas of what's physically attractive changes over time. It was at one point scandalous to show your ears! Obviously most people can look at ears now without a second thought. At another point it was ok to wear a low-cut dress, but it was incredibly inappropriate to show your ankles. Style and fashion fluctuate so much over time, that it would be impossible to keep a single standard of how to dress.

Body Type

This one is huge, and I think it's one that isn't considered at all through the "list" mentality. We aren't all given the same body type, so we can't exactly dress it the same way. Tank tops can show too much skin on one girl and be totally fine for another. The same shorts could look too short on one girl and the right length on another. And that leads me to yet another thing that annoys me: The "fingertip test." 

If you've never had to do the fingertip test, it goes like this: If you naturally let your hands fall at your sides, wherever your fingertips are, that's where the hem of your shorts should be. That's all fine and good... but for me, my arms are like this.

And my fingers are like this.

So you can imagine my frustration.

Activities

There are a lot of sports or activities that call for uniforms or articles of clothing we wouldn't typically wear all the time. You wouldn't wear a leotard to church. You wouldn't wear a swimsuit to the store. But does that make those things immodest?
My opinion is no.
There are certain sports and activities that require the uniforms they have, not to be "flashy" or "sexy," but for practicality's sake (unless you're the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders...)

Then there are swimsuits.
This one is a delicate topic, and it hits a nerve in every Christian in one way or another. I honestly still don't know exactly where I stand. There are some Christians who can, with a clear conscience, wear bikinis. I'm not personally one of those people (but I'm definitely not condemning anyone who does!)
There are obviously tons of swimsuits that are designed to show off our "assets" in the most provocative ways possible, but not all of them are built like that. My general opinion is this: Swimming at all is risky in terms of modesty, because water likes to cling to fabric. And pull things down... or off...
This renders it impossible to be as modest as you typically are, no matter what. It's not everyone's attitude to wear swimsuits that expose things they don't usually expose-- sometimes it just happens! So my "rule" would be to wear something practical while covering up the obvious, stay away from anything that can be easily undone (or seriously double-knot that sucker), and go swimming. The good news is that one pieces are making a comeback! There are actually a lot of really cute "retro" swimsuits that are coming out that are really cute and cover stuff up.

Attitude

This one is being neglected by a lot of Christian circles too, and I think it's really important to note.

I could wear a turtleneck, a headdress, a jumper and a Snuggie and still be immodest. How?
Modesty doesn't only lie in how you dress, but your attitude.
If you're acting in a way that distracts you or others, whether by bragging or flirting, you're being immodest.

If we have the right attitude, we don't want to be a distraction to guys. Sometimes girls go a little overboard in constantly worrying about being a "stumbling block" to boys. Even though it's a good thing to be conscious of our "menfolk" (lol), it's impossible to please everyone. If we got every guy's opinion of what they found distracting or immodest and dressed ourselves with that list in mind, we would be walking around like this.

And I don't think that's very practical... :P

And men (if there are any men brave enough to make it this far), we aren't responsible for your thought lives. We should definitely do what we can to not be a distraction to you, but ultimately it isn't on us, just like it isn't on you if we have struggles with our thoughts. We all have the power to think about anything we want, but that doesn't mean we should. ;P

Sometimes, in the same way that girls use the way they dress to attract attention from the opposite sex, they can also use the way they dress to gain acceptance in whatever social circle they're in. Even Christian ones. Some girls could be following "the list" to perfection because they believe that those rules are right. Other girls might just be following them to fit in with the girls who go by the list, but wind up dressing just to please other people. Either way, God doesn't want us to constantly worry and obsess about how we look on any level. He doesn't want us to constantly worry or obsess about anything, really.

He wants us to lean on Him.

Which is why it's important not to try to please other people with how we dress. This is where we go wrong with modesty.
I remember one of the teachers at Summit Ministries saying, "Purity isn't a line, it's a direction."
If purity was a line, we'd just try to get as close as we could to it without stepping over it. If it's a direction, we look to God for guidance on how we dress and behave. This is how we need to approach this. We need more God and less us... in every sense of the phrase. ;)

So that's my opinion on modesty. Maybe I've opened a can of worms... but I honestly hope that I didn't step on anyone's toes!

What are your thoughts?

The Gospel According to Dirt

So today I'm here to talk about dirt.

Please contain your excitement. ;)

Yesterday, in a sermon about trusting God, I somehow wound up thinking a lot about dirt (don't ask how, I have no idea...)

How we try so hard to get rid of it.

We sweep it out of our houses.

We wash it off our clothes, cars, dogs and kids.

It contains some of the lowest lifeforms and creepy crawlies that gross us out.

Dirt is probably one of the lowest substances on earth...

But that's what we're made of.

"...The Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being." ~Genesis 2:7

Maybe I never really looked into it that much. "Yup, the Bible says God made us from dirt."

But I never put a ton of thought into it.

How did God take something as simple as dust from the ground and create the most brilliantly complex work of engineering on earth?

How could He take something as low as dirt and breathe it into His image?

Not only is it beautifully poetic, but it just shows how amazing and powerful God is.

It's also humbling. We came from dirt. We can be reminded of it by our "dirty" human nature and inclinations to go against God. It's a stain we can't wash out on our own. Through Jesus we have the assurance that although our bodies will return to the dirt, our spirits will be safe with Him.

Oh, and another thing: Dirt is just dirt... unless a seed is planted in it.

Then this can happen:

One of the reasons God created dirt is to bring forth beauty. If Jesus is planted in us, we'll have some flowers of our own springing from our chest (not literally... that could get creepy). :P

So I have some flowers and a few weeds that need plucking... but God is an excellent gardener! :D

Maybe it's a bit cheesy, but... I just love metaphors! Don't you just love metaphors?! I love metaphors.

Psychobabble

This post has no direction whatsoever. Why? Because I need to write more, but I'm out of brilliant ideas and all that's left are random musings about infomercials and baby hippos.

As I was drifting off to sleep last night, I thought I'd write a post on why llamas are cooler than alpacas. Then I woke up and realized I thought that. Then it didn't sound so amazing. But I leave you with this: Sure, llamas are ugly, but alpacas are that kind of cute that is simultaneously creepy enough to write a Tim Burton movie about.

I got a camera for my birthday a few months ago in hopes that it would be easier to use a more compact little point and shoot camera for my blog posts. Then I lost it. >_< So I won't have any amazing selfies to post. (I'm probably doing you all a favor... who likes to look at other people's selfies?!)
Just kidding, I never take selfies. :P hehe

My church does an annual bike ride for Father's Day, and I'm totally excited! It sort of has me thinking about getting in shape, though. I mean, occasionally I do some lifting (somehow that fork has to get to my mouth), but I rarely exercise. So I got some awesome Nikes with neon pink laces! The fact that I spent like, $60 in graduation money should be motivation enough to put them to use. :P I think I'm going to try running. If you see any posts after this that aren't written like "jfhesklhgjkrdhgfkvrdhbkdrl," you can assume that I'm still alive and mentally stable.

I saw Snow White and the Huntsman last night. It was cool, creepy, and really weird at the same time. haha I liked it. I might write more about it in a separate post. :)

Life is hard, but God is good. I'm so glad that I can go to Him when I'm having a hard time. Sometimes I can be so ridiculously dramatic that I just go, "Nope. I don't need to pray. I'll just feel pathetic a little longer." It's almost like rotting your teeth drinking syrupy soda all the time, then switching back to water and remembering how good water is. XD

Now I'm thirsty. :P

Anyway... yeah. I think that's all the random topics I can scrape out of my brain right now.

Lessons from Tetris

I've been thinking a lot lately.
I've also been playing a lot of Tetris.

Ah, Tetris. If you haven't played it, then get out of here. Seriously. Get some help.
Just kidding. :)
But if you haven't played it, this is how it works: The goal of the game is to keep the blocks from stacking too high. The blocks come in different shapes, and you have to line them up right so they'll cancel out and you have more space.

Maybe it was the fatigue tugging at my logic, or maybe I had some sort of epiphany, but I realized: Life is a lot like Tetris.

Think about it. Life goes on, and the blocks keep coming. Stuff builds up, and normally if you're careful you can resolve it. But sometimes when you're not paying attention, you make a mistake and that block winds up in an awkward spot that makes it difficult to resolve. Sometimes it's not your fault; Sometimes the game throws in that random block you have no place for.

It's easy to freak out at that one annoying block that threw you off. But if you focus too much on it, it's almost hard to make the right decisions and things get worse. But if you take the situation as it is and try to build around it, things might get better.

Life makes it hard to have all your blocks in a row. But you have to work with what you were given, and trust that God will help you through it. :)

Dittos... Tetris... gosh, I just love using nerdy things to make a point. :D

Ditto

Does this look familiar to anyone?

This creature is called a Ditto. It is a Pokemon. He's what the gum on your shoe would look like if it had a face.

Dittos pretty much do what it sounds like they do: they morph into the shape of any other Pokemon.
"You're a Mr. Mime? Ditto.
You're a Bulbasaur? Ditto.
You're a Pikachu? Me too."

Now you may be asking yourselves why on earth I'm writing about Dittos.
It's because I'm noticing how easy it is to be one.

This lesson has been screaming at me from every direction. I hear it echoing from the voices of people closest to me, and coming from people I don't even know.

Last week my Worldview class ended. The video on the last day gave a statistic, saying that 80% of college students believe there are no moral absolutes. It was sort of interesting to think about. It made me wonder how many of those students just accepted the idea without questioning it. It could be such an easy thing to do.

 I learned a lot from that class, but some of the things that stuck out the most in my mind were the stories they told of people who stood up in their college classrooms, all eyes on them, and defended an opinion that was way different from their professors and peers'. They were brave enough to speak the truth, even though it scared them to death.

I've always hated having attention drawn to me. I like to just hang out in the background and blend in with everyone else. Normally if I disagree with someone, I don't go further into the conversation. I just smile, nod, and say, "Oh." That's usually the end of it.

But what good does that do? The conversation either dies off or becomes really superficial because you're too nervous to dive into a deeper conversation with someone who might disagree with you. Who might think your opinions are "weird," "intolerant," or "backwards." Then they go their own way and you go yours, but along with your differences comes this one: You're always going to wonder what would happen if you'd have spoken up, and they won't even know.

 God doesn't want us to be Dittos; it's not how He created us to be. "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." (1 Corinthians 15:58) 

I might touch on this subject in a different post, but one thing that's important to remember too is learning how to stand firm without being a "Bible Thumper." You don't want to be condemning or in peoples' faces. "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel." (Philippians 1:27)

So, yeah... that's my little "mini sermon," of sorts. :P lol If you have anything interesting to share, I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

Random Valentine's Musings...

Do you know someone like this?

"What flavor ice cream do you want?"

"Hm... chocolate. No, strawberry. Cookies and cream... mint...? I dont know..."

"What game do you want to play?"

"I don't know... I like Scrabble, Pictionary, and Apples to Apples, but I'm fine with whatever."

(If you know me... then you know at least one person like this...)

Here's an interesting experiment for you: If this indecisive person happens to be a girl, ask her about weddings and see what happens.

"Oh, when I get married someday I'm going to have a big ball gown, and a live band at the reception, and a four-tiered cake and such-and-such song is going to play for our first dance, and I want red and white roses, and blah. blahblahblahblahblahblahblah...."

I was talking to my friend Anna about weddings last week, and came to an interesting conclusion: it doesn't matter how indecisive I might be; I've been planning my wedding for years. I have a list of songs I want to be played. I have in my mind the kinds of dresses I want to try on. Sure, there have been a few things that have changed over the years, but I still have close to every detail sorted out.

Well... almost every detail.

Obviously, there's going to be one slightly important detail that I don't have yet. ;)

Every year so far, Valentine's Day has meant one thing: Candy, and lots of it. I normally get a tiny box of chocolates from relatives, and eat them until I feel like I'm gonna puke. :P While it's worked for me so far, I can't wait until I find the guy to celebrate Valentine's Day with. :)

It's weird to think that he's somewhere out there, just doing his own thing, maybe occassionally thinking the same about me. At this point, it's all one big guessing game. I could be regularly talking and laughing with him and not even realize, or he could be on the other side of the world. He could be reading this post at this very moment, or he's never even heard of me.

I don't know the who, what, where, when and how... I just know that it's in God's hands, and during Valentine's Day, there's no reason to feel like this (...Even though it's tempting sometimes...)

Or like this:

Sometimes it's easy for me to look at all my quirks and oddities and think, "Wow, that's attractive. Am I training to become the crazy cat lady?!"

Now as I write this I'm wondering... who is the crazy cat lady? What exactly did she do to become the crazy cat lady? Was she simply unattractive? O_o Was she mean? Did she go on so many dates, she couldn't decide what kind of guy she wanted? Did she scare people off with her quirks, or was she just one of those feminists with the mindset of "I don't need a MAN!" :P I think when you think of all the things that could go wrong with her personality, quirkiness might not have been the reason.

I mean... if a guy can find a girl who he loves and can be himself around, who makes him laugh and cares for him, what then is a few quirks? Am I right? Hopefully...? :P

Ah, and the tangents abound! This post is so random... :P

But anyway... to all the singletons out there... smile, eat candy, and have a good Valentine's Day. Don't let it be a disheartening reminder of what you don't yet have, but instead let it be a day to remind you that the person God has for you is out there somewhere. You don't need to scan crowds of people in search for your Waldo; it's God's will, and you can relax knowing that He'll bring you two together when the time is right. :)

And when you think of it that way, it's a little easier to sit back, eat some truffles, and watch "The Notebook" in peace.

Crazy Cat Lady

Runaway Groom

Heaven is for Real

So last night I read a pretty interesting book... (I'm pretty sure you've all heard of it; it's a best seller!)

It's called "Heaven is for Real."

My sister got it for Christmas, and I've heard some pretty cool things about it, so I picked it up at 9:30 last night.

I didn't put it down 'till 3:30 this morning. :P

If you don't know what the book is about, Todd Burpo, a small-town pastor, writes the account of his son, Colton's claims on going to heaven and back after having an emergency operation and almost dying. For months after the surgery, Colton reavealed amazing things about heaven, and knew about things nobody could've told him (his mother's miscarriage before he was born, and his grandpa who died before he was born).

I found the book pretty interesting. However, I'm almost not sure what to think about it. Amidst the array of interesting, confused, amazed and somewhat skeptical thoughts I had in my head, two rang out the loudest:

1. Burpo is a funny last name. haha, Burpo. Burpo, Burpo, Burpo. To be honest, it kind of grosses me out. It's like "BURP, oh!" :P

and

2. Is this made-up? There are so many accounts of people saying they've "gone to heaven and back." It's easy to be kind of skeptical about a claim like that. When we watch a magic trick, what's our first reaction? How did he DO that?! I think we sort of wind up doing the same thing when God performs miracles. We want to know if there are any smoke, mirrors or trap doors before we believe that God could've actually had any hand in it. :P

But, although I was a little skeptical, as I said, there was information that Colton knew that he couldn't have known. He was also able to tell his parents exactly where they were and what they were doing during his operation. All of his accounts on God, Jesus and heaven were all lined up with scripture (he wasn't saying anything that would give the book away as a made-up account).

Aside from the surrounding controvery of this book, it definitely makes you think. Sure, I've thought about heaven before, but not really in too much detail. It's hard to imagine how amazing any location is if you haven't been there. I've never been to Ireland, but people tell me it's beautiful. So, I guess as the title suggests, the book made heaven more real to me. I was able to imagine for a second how wonderful it must be (and how much more amazing it is compared to my human imagination)!

Have any of you read the book? If so, what are your thoughts?

God, make me a big kid!

My sister, Kyla, is a really good dancer. She takes lyrical and just started taking ballet, and she's advancing really quickly. One thing that amazes me is how incredibly flexible she is. She can do the splits, touch her toes to her head... once she actually kicked herself in the head!

But she wasn't always that flexible.

Weightlifters can lift insanely heavy weights and other objects. In the "World's Strongest Man," competitions they have men who can pull semi-trucks using their own strength.

But they weren't always that strong.

I'm beginning to realize that more.

"DUH, Really?!" You might say.

But no, really, I think it's hard for a lot of us to remember that we don't just grow overnight. The struggles we're trying to overcome won't just go away at once. We're not going to wake up and become the person God wants us to be. It's an ongoing, progressive thing.

I'm learning that if you pray for patience you're not going to automatically find yourself serenely sitting among screaming kids and barking dogs. If you pray for self-control, you're not going to instantly have no desire for that piece of chocolate cake sitting on the counter. God likes to help us build a resistance to the things that tempt us, much like stretching, or lifting weights. We can't put our feet behind our heads or pull any semi-trucks until we know how to trust God through the challenges He's put in our way; No matter how much you want to wimp out, give up and say things are "too hard."

Also, no matter how much you want to, don't do this: "Wow, they're so mature... I'm like, totally immature in my walk with God compared to them!" We've all done that one. Sometimes they're the same age as you, other times they're younger than you (that's when you start feeling like garbage. lol)! But God has you both at different places. They could be struggling with things you aren't struggling with, and vice versa. We all have problems, so comparing ourselves to others really won't get us anywhere! :P

While we're learning more about God and growing in our walk with Him, we may not even realize we're changing that much. It could be a little alteration in our thinking here, a little tweaking in our behavior there...

But then one day we'll look back on how we used to act, and realize how much we've changed. Maybe that's why God doesn't just *poof*! make us patient, loving, selfless and self-controled-- getting there is half the fun. ;)

Hang in there!