The Woes of a Writer...

I had an idea.

I thought it was a pretty cool idea. I don't normally get a lot of ideas that are cool enough to write a book about.

Then I realized that there are no new ideas under the sun, and found this at Barnes and Noble today. 

"In the Society, Officials decide. Who you love. Where you work. When you die.

Cassia has always trusted their choices. It’s hardly any price to pay for a long life, the perfect job, the ideal mate. So when her best friend appears on the Matching screen, Cassia knows with complete certainty that he is the one… until she sees another face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black. Now Cassia is faced with impossible choices: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she’s known and a path no one else has ever dared follow — between perfection and passion."

I need not tell you my idea, because this book is, in essence, the exact same thing. (Minus the cheesy love triangle...)

Oh, yeah. It's also a New York Times bestseller.

It ruined my day. There in my hands was the idea I got so excited over, already invested time in, had so many ideas for... and I wasn't the one who wrote it.

I wanted to look on the bright side and find differences between the author's ideas and mine, so I bought it. As we drove home, I scanned through the first few pages and concluded that my ideas were different, but not different enough to not look like I totally stole this lady's idea. I didn't have the heart to continue reading it, so I returned my buried hopes and dreams an hour later.

Now I'm writing this because I know that at least some of you have felt this terrible, sinking feeling of a stale idea. I've decided it's the writer's equivalent of dating some guy and finding out that he's married: After discovering that he belongs to someone else, continuing to think about him just feels wrong. :P

I was able to shake it off a little with some retail therapy, but every time I think of it I get that annoying sinking feeling of all my characters and their world dying off because they already live in some alternate universe... really, it sort of sounds like a Dr. Who episode or something.

I'm hoping that maybe someday I'll be able to write a book. If I do, God probably has a better idea out there for me somewhere deep in the creases of my imagination. It could take some heavy machinery to dig it out... :P

Finding my marbles...

While I'm still in my loopy, slightly marble-less stupor, I figured I'd endeavor to inform you all about my amazing adventure to WINCO!

Please, please contain your excitement. ;)

Today was a whirlwind of weirdness, but it started out relatively normal. I woke up, went to the stable, goofed off with Anna, groomed some horses...

Then later the sadness hit. I don't know where it came from, really... I'm retiring from the stable in a few weeks, and I guess in a way it's just sort of hard for me. Not really because I find sweeping hallways and brushing horses all that captivating, but because I've been doing it for nearly 4 years. I can almost melodramatically see the ghosts of our younger, more naive selves in the hallways.

That brought me to the realization of "so the next phase of my life is starting up. Crap. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!?" Then I was filled with extreme dread and disorientation.

That's how I was when I got home. And from there I sat at the computer while inhaling and exhaling the fumes of my self-pity. Then my sisters decided to throw some battery acid on the open wound by EATING MY CHINESE LEFTOVERS. Then my mom asked me if I wanted to come along with them to Winco. I sort of kind of more or less hate Winco. It's normally always crowded, and the people there are really unfriendly. I said yes anyway, though, because I needed to go to Kinko's to get some copies, anyway.

So along we drove, my self-pity fogging the windows.

Pretty soon, somewhere along the line... something happened. Something inside my brain just sort of snapped. I think it was sometime after I starting giggling uncontrollably after I realized that "We Bought A Zoo" sounds like you're just saying "Weebattazu" in some random unknown language. (Seriously. Try it.)

From there I found myself in hysterics over just about everything.

The people in the Subway window who my sisters and I named "Alfredo" and "Papa Jehoshaphat."

Joking that if they made another Hunger Games, they should make the arena look like a giant Winco (the perfect form of torture, aside from Whole Foods; but that's another story).

The lady who had shoes that looked like pumps and flip-flops ("Flumps," respectively).

Joking that you can probably buy anything at Winco in bulk (need toothpaste? Need pants? Need flip flops? BUY THEM IN BULK! Ok, not really...)

The snail statue that looked like it had a horse face (A "Snorse," respectively).

We found a dragon fruit.

Doesn't it look like a cross between a beet and an artichoke? (A "Beetichoke," as I deemed it).

The "Ask the Unicorn" button. (Infinity times better than a magic 8 ball!)

I think everyone in the store thought I was insane. I think I thought I was insane. But at least I had fun. Right? Right?

Oh... serial killers have fun too and it doesn't mean they're sane? You have a point.

Buuuut, I think falling over in hysterics is an infinitely better form of crazy, if you ask me. ;D

I then decided to go all OCD on the people of Winco and straighten out all the cereal boxes for the heck of it. Hopefully they'll appreciate it. :P

It finally began to fade away once we got to the parking lot. I still feel the smallest wisp of crazy in my veins; but I think it's mostly been unleashed on the poor, unsuspecting shoppers who were just passing through for some onions.

It was nice, though... just goofing off aimlessly, letting go of all the things that have been stressing me out. :)

We never did go to Kinko's, though.

All pictures found on Pinterest.