Life In Letters 3

Dear Pinterest,

You make me feel crafty when I've hardly lifted a glue gun, like an athlete when I can hardly jog for one minute, and like an inspiration although hardly anything eloquent comes out of my mouth. Also, I never realized there were that many uses for glow sticks. They seem to have so much... purpose now. 

~Kay

Dear Fast Food Restaurants, 

Why must you always give your menu items dorky names? Do you think it sounds creative, or do you like to just hear us suffer as we try to say "I'd like the huckleberry hullaballoo" and have you take us seriously?
"Can I have a... urm... sundae?"
"Sure, what kind?"
"A... um... a cutiepatootiesundae?"
"Sorry, you'll need to speak up."
"I WANT A CUTIE PATOOTIE SUNDAE!" *huffs* Don't judge me.

Your frustrated customer,
~Kay

Dear Whoever it was who Designed Graduation Caps,

It's a square. With a tassel on it. That attaches to your head. Really?
~Kay

Dear Dancing Little Caesar's Guy, 

Your grueling job of dancing around in the hot sun and smelling your own skin baking to medium rare in an embarrassing costume is not in vain. Sometimes all it takes to brighten someone's day is to see some random dancing person on the side of the street. 
You're simply awesome. Also, you've got some nice moves.
~Kay

Dear Shoes, 

Thanks for protecting my feet from random icky things on the ground, and for looking so darn cute while doing it. 
~Kay

Life in Letters 2

Here's another installment of LIL. :) After my last one I thought of a few more, so I thought I'd do this on a semi-regular basis, if not for your entertainment, then for mine.

Dear Brain,

There are certain times when I need you. Important times. Times where your little dispute with my tongue doesn't make any of us look good. These times include the following:

When I'm about to tell the punchline of a joke

When I'm trying to have an intellectual conversation

When anybody wants my opinion on anything

When I'm on the phone with someone

When I'm trying to make someone feel better

You sometimes seem to have a mind of your own.

~Kaylee


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Dear Bread Crust,

Why must you be so disgusting? Nobody likes you. Get a job and make yourself useful.

~Kaylee


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Dear Clementines,

You're like a baby orange. Although, why is it that you taste better than an orange? You're like... practically the same thing. I guess it doesn't matter, as long as you keep being awesome.

~Kaylee


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Dear life,

I've got your lemons right here... you seem to have misplaced them. I'll be waiting for you to pick them up. :P

~Kaylee


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Dear TV,

I'm on to you. I know what you're really doing. "Oh, look at the little flickering screen! It's so entertaining!" You're taking my productive hours of boredom (maybe the same kind of boredom Thomas Edison had when he was like "Hey! I'm going to invent electricity!" Ironic?) and making them unproductive hours of boredom. And I don't appreciate it. (And yes... I know Thomas Edison didn't "invent" electricity...)

~Kaylee


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Dear Glasses,


You look cool. You're useful, too... only you're not useful to me. And that's sad, because I really want to wear you but I don't have bad eyesight (nor do I want bad eyesight...) So I guess our relationship cannot be.


~Kaylee

Life in Letters

Ok, so I noticed that on a few blogs there are people who like to write letters to things. I thought it sounded fun, so here it goes...

Dear Toothbrush,

Thank you for sitting around and letting me scrub my cruddy teeth with your bristly face every day. I find that quite brave of you. I probably wouldn't like it if I had to rub my face on someone's molars. I might take you for granted a little bit.

~Kaylee

Dear Diary,

You're probably the only one who's been able to sit there, shut up, and listen to all my pathetic ramblings, rants, and daydreams. That's pretty good for $12. You're better than any Shrink there is.

~Kaylee

Dear Facebook,

I wish I knew how to quit you!

Jk, I'm too far gone for that.

~Kaylee

Dear Buddy from the Dollar Tree,

Thanks for making my day. You're so freaking FRIENDLY. I love that! Most people who have to sit in a florescent lit room all day aren't as enthusiastic, but you treat your job like you're at a party. I hope I can be like that when I get a job. :)

~Kaylee

Dear guy who nearly hit us crossing the street with his car that one time,

Slow down when you're in a parking lot, and for gosh sake PAY ATTENTION. I think I might have died a little after that episode. O_o

~Kaylee

...And since this is just sort of a random post anyway, I thought I'd just throw in a few announcements.

I now have 25 followers!

Might not sound like many to some people, but I think it's awesome (heck, it's half way to 50, a quarter of the way to 100, and like... 1/40 of 1000!) :) Thank you all for reading my blog!

The title for this post is after the song "Life in Letters" by Lucy Schwartz. LISTEN TO IT (if you want to... ;)