The Gospel According to Dirt

So today I'm here to talk about dirt.

Please contain your excitement. ;)

Yesterday, in a sermon about trusting God, I somehow wound up thinking a lot about dirt (don't ask how, I have no idea...)

How we try so hard to get rid of it.

We sweep it out of our houses.

We wash it off our clothes, cars, dogs and kids.

It contains some of the lowest lifeforms and creepy crawlies that gross us out.

Dirt is probably one of the lowest substances on earth...

But that's what we're made of.

"...The Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being." ~Genesis 2:7

Maybe I never really looked into it that much. "Yup, the Bible says God made us from dirt."

But I never put a ton of thought into it.

How did God take something as simple as dust from the ground and create the most brilliantly complex work of engineering on earth?

How could He take something as low as dirt and breathe it into His image?

Not only is it beautifully poetic, but it just shows how amazing and powerful God is.

It's also humbling. We came from dirt. We can be reminded of it by our "dirty" human nature and inclinations to go against God. It's a stain we can't wash out on our own. Through Jesus we have the assurance that although our bodies will return to the dirt, our spirits will be safe with Him.

Oh, and another thing: Dirt is just dirt... unless a seed is planted in it.

Then this can happen:

One of the reasons God created dirt is to bring forth beauty. If Jesus is planted in us, we'll have some flowers of our own springing from our chest (not literally... that could get creepy). :P

So I have some flowers and a few weeds that need plucking... but God is an excellent gardener! :D

Maybe it's a bit cheesy, but... I just love metaphors! Don't you just love metaphors?! I love metaphors.

Conspiracy Theory: Whale Fountains

We've all seen them.

They are built in parks and public squares everywhere. Children frolic in them and we gather around them. But how much do we know about the dark secret that's tucked underneath the surface?

The answer is nothing.
UNTIL NOW.

What I am about to reveal to you will both shock and terrify you. There's really no easy way to say it, so I'll just blurt it out there.

These suspected "water fountains" are really whales trapped underground.

Now listen. I can hear you groaning at your computer screens. Maybe a couple of you laughed. But we mock what we don't understand.

It's a familiar picture to us all: Shaggy-haired college kids campaigning to "Save the Whales." But they aren't really saving the whales. They're in cahoots with the government. 

You see, if the government could somehow make us believe that the whales are dying off and need saving, then they'll be able to pull at our heart strings. This will cause us to want to "help the cause," and BAM! More funding.

The only thing is that they needed to weed out some of the whale population to make it look authentic. They needed to think of something to do with all those whales.

After putting their thinking caps on, they came to this conclusion: "Why kill them off," they reasoned, "If we can use them?"

So soon enough, these self-timing ground fountains started cropping up in public places.
They dug up trenches to build underground tanks. Of course this took some of their funds, so the money acquired to "Save the Whales" ironically played a part in their entrapment. The whales, distressed from the lack of elbow room (if you can argue that whales have elbows), spout water from their blowholes. That water is what makes up the fountains.

Whales are smart creatures. They decided to get creative in getting people's attention, so they began using a sequence of morse code to catch our eye. "S-O-S," "Help," and "We're trapped," are a few of the messages they've attempted. But we humans don't notice and believe that the fountains are on some sort of timer.

So now you know. And knowledge is power. And with great power comes great responsibility. So
SAVE THE WHALES!

That is all.
And no. I am not crazy. At least... that's what the voices tell me...

Summit 1

I'm back from my summer filled with long car rides, Wonka candy, pillow fights and Journey music. I think it's safe to say that it was the best two weeks EVER.

I'll probably be doing a few posts on this, or else you'll be sitting at your computer screen until your eyeballs roll back in your skull and you start foaming at the mouth (and nobody wants to see that!) So I'll start at the beginning and work my way through.

We all hopped into the van at 5 am and prepared ourselves for the 14 hour drive ahead. It sounded daunting and exciting to me at the same time. I'm one of the weirdos who actually like long car rides. :P

As you can see from the blurry picture above, it was barely light out. I could've slept for another hour or so in the car, but I was way too excited.

We had a lot to look at, anyway. The windmills reminded me of giant, retarded pinwheels that just sort of hung out in the heat of the day.

Like the entire trip, the car ride somehow felt really long and really short at the same time. We took a few breaks to stretch our legs, and we played frisbee at a gas station for a while. Just, you know, 'cause we're amazing. :P

There came a point where I definitely felt like I wasn't in Oregon anymore. I think it was when we started driving past the gynormous mountains, canyons, and Mormon churches (we counted about 40 when we drove through Utah!) It seemed like a weird feeling to feel the same but in a totally different backdrop... if that makes any sense. :P

We stopped in Utah and stayed the night with a friend's relatives, and, like the crazy people we are, we went to the park and played "Lava Monster". Then we danced on the lawn.

Then my head hit the pillow and I fell asleep instantly.
It's weird how exhausting it can be to just sit all day...