My life has become a spiraling black hole of doom.

***Warning*** This post may contain sarcasm (which, hallelujah, is the only thing I'm NOT allergic to).

Recently I've been having some health problems. Not serious ones, but ones that are annoying enough to get checked out for. After trying practically everything else, my doctor did some bloodwork to look for allergies. This was about a month ago.

Between now and then, we kept having to reschedule the appointment where we'd go over the results, which I was fine with. My mom and sister are allergic to gluten, and I wanted to remain in my blissfully ignorant world of ramen, ice cream and all things delicious.

Finally, it couldn't be held off much longer. I went in today to go over the results.

Doctor: "So, Kaylee, if you could choose any food you wouldn't want to be allergic to, what would it be?"

Me: "Probably either dairy or wheat."

Oh, how I wish that was all it was.

Because it turns out I came up as allergic to wheat.

And dairy.

And eggs.

And bananas.

And hazelnuts.

And pineapples.

Basically, I'm allergic to food.

My reaction when I was in his office:

"Oh, wow... aw... shoot..."

My reaction when we got out to the car:

"Omigosh.Omigosh.OMIGOSHMYLIFEISOVERI'MGOINGTOSTARVEWHATAMIGOINGTODO?!?!?!?!"

My thoughts on the way home:

• Katniss and Peeta ate better than me when they were in the Hunger Games (at least they had bread and cheese!)
• I have the diet of a bear. (Meat, fish, berries, heck! Let's throw in some tree bark for good measure, too.)
• Fruit and vegetables aren't very filling. I'm going to be so hungry that I'll be gnawing at my own limbs (but chances are I'm allergic to those, too...)
• My precious, beautiful, flawless Nutella...

Somewhere in the midst of this I might have possibly gone through the 5 stages of grief.

Also, once my mom hit the freeway, one of the first things we saw (I kid you not) was a giant billboard with bananas and pineapples on it.

I'm trying to look at the bright side. (Yes, there actually is a bright side).

It's actually a good thing that it turned out I had allergies, or they would've started running tests for scarier things that would explain my symptoms (problems with my pancreas or liver were a couple they would've checked for).

Also, he said that there's a chance that I just ate too much wheat, dairy, eggs, and hazelnuts (hello, nutella sandwiches!), so it might be irritating my stomach. So if I go off of them for a couple weeks, I might just need to limit them instead of eliminate them. (Phew).

It's still going to be the longest 2 weeks of my life. I'll probably be living off of clementines, tears, and excess body fat.

On a slightly happier note... how was everyone's Easter? (Haven't gotten around to writing about it yet... maybe this week. :) Hope everyone had a great day!