I've sent out several applications within a thirty minute radius of my house, and I still haven't found anything.
But even though my desperation is hinging on sending out applications to fast food restaurants (One of my last resorts), there really isn't any level of desperation that would force me to become a bikini barista.
Yes, that is a real job.
They're opening up a coffee shop about thirty minutes from my house whose gimmick is to have all their workers wear bikinis. Which I find weird, because normally the people who frequent coffee shops aren't really the type to care whether they're being served by half-naked women. It sounds more like a bar gimmick to me. :P
Putting aside everything that I said in the modesty post for a second, there are several other reasons I wouldn't want to work at said establishment.
1. Bare skin and hot beverages DO NOT mix!
2. If I put my hands on my hips I sort of have the physique of a wire hanger.
3. That HAS to be a health code violation.
4. Think of the drafts!
5. Any wardrobe malfunction to be had would be multiplied by 1 zillion.
However, I couldn't just not reply to the ad. It was just too... weird. So I could've either ranted about how disgusting and perverted their coffee shop was and just how do you expect your employees to be respected and think of the children who could walk by your store and get a glance at what kind of shady operation you're running and rant rant rant rant...
Or I could have fun with it a little.
Maybe I've been reading too many email pranks. But something in me snapped and I just had to mess with them. (Wow, Kaylee... anonymously sending a fake email in which hardly any human contact is made. You so crazy).
Anyway... this is what I sent.
"Hello! I saw your ad on craigslist, and I have to say that this job is exactly what I'm looking for! I have 3 years of barista experience and 4 years of exotic dancing experience (both of them got me through college... I'm an aspiring model).
I've attached my latest bikini shot. Hopefully it's not too naughty. ;) "
I attached this picture.
We'll see if they write back.
:)
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