Us People are Ok.

You know what makes me laugh?

Celebrity magazines.

They're just so ridiculous sometimes.

What I find so ridiculous is that a lot of the time, it's not like they're doing anything any more interesting than what's going on in our everyday lives; it's just more interesting to read about them going to the store and walking their dogs because they're famous.

These articles are the ones that make me laugh the most. "Stars: they're just like us!"

But... if they were "just like us," would pictures of them walking out of an outhouse or cleaning out their cars be worth putting in a magazine?

At what point do celebrities stop being popular actors/actresses/artists and start becoming gods? It's sort of funny seeing how people react when meeting a famous person. Some people cry. Like seriously, burst into uncontrollable wailing sobs. Of course, I've never met a celebrity, so I'm not exactly sure how I'd react, but I probably wouldn't cry. I'm sort of awkward with just about anyone I meet, so I'm pretty sure I'd be the way I am when I meet a friend of a friend that I've stalked a few times on Facebook. "Oh, hey... you're Julia Roberts. Wow, it's so nice to finally meet you... I've heard a lot about you. Are you still acting? Oh, wait, duh..."

We put celebrities on a pedestal and treat them as immortal, then we become devastated when they make mistakes. They're human beings! They're going to make mistakes. And sometimes, those mistakes are due to the pressure of being celebrities. Then they get a whole bunch of attention from the press, but it's negative attention. This cycle goes round and round, until we have celebrities who are a total mess, have no real talent, but just walk around being famous.

...And do I read some of these magazines?

Yes. Yes I do.

I'm not totally against everything in celebrity magazines. It's actually frustrating, because they have a lot of good articles, too: Interviews, fashion advice, the occasional inspirational article...

But you have to wade through the lies, gossip, and pointless drama to get to them.

There is one way to sort of minimize the garbage you need to step over in order to get to the good articles.

Let's call it: THE CLUTTER SCALE.

The Clutter Scale helps us to determine just how much gossip and annoying, stalkerish pictures are in celebrity magazines. The theory is that the more gossip there is in a magazine, the more cover stories and pictures will be on the front.

Examples:

Clutter Scale: Mild

There's gossip, but some of it might be avoidable.

Clutter Scale: Moderate

The cover is still fairly organized, but there are definitely more pictures and cover articles. There will be points where you scoff and roll your eyes.

Clutter Scale: Severe

Only read these if you need a good laugh, or if you're genuinely interested in Justin Bieber's favorite socks or what hair gel Robert Pattinson uses.

Clutter Scale: Extreme

Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Run. Run far, far away.

Now, of course, there are exceptions to just about every rule. The Clutter Scale won't save you every time, but I think it's a good rule of thumb. :) Another good rule of thumb? If there are no good articles and the remaining ones make you feel dumber, don't read them. Just put the magazine down and read a book, or something.