Memory Monday: Bobby

Ok, Ok, I've already told this one to a bunch of people, but it was so comical, I thought it would be fun to write about (plus... there has to be someone who hasn't heard it yet, right?!)

This is the tale of when I broke a baby's arms.

I assure you, it's not as bad as it sounds. :P (I'm not a psychopath!)

Katie was the proud mother of a plastic baby doll named "Bobby." Yes, Bobby is a girl. Yes, Bobby is a very cheap plastic doll that we probably got for under $5. Yes, Bobby breaks very easily.

So it starts like this: Me, sitting in my room with my sister Karly, having a good ole time, when...

(Enter Katie with Bobby) "Kawee, can yew hewp me put this dwess on Bobby?"

I straightened up and took the doll and the dress. "Sure, lemme see..."

If I can remember right, everything started out fairly normal. I started putting the dress on with no problem, but then I discovered that Bobby had a bit of a problem:

Her arms were very stiff, and no matter what way I tried to position them, I could not fit her arms in the holes.

I think by this time Katie left (or I asked her to leave), and I had an idea. I was pretty sure that this certain kind of doll was very easy to dismember and put back together again. If I just removed the head and the arms, put the dress on, then put the arms and the head back on... mission accomplished!

I put my plan into action. Pop off head? Check. Pop arms off? Double check. Put dress on? Check. Put arms back on...? Ok... why weren't they going back on???

Oh, goodness.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!

The arms, no matter how hard I tried to push them back into place, were not going back in. I pushed, I twisted, I banged with my fists... nothing. Karly laughed and watched the whole time (and I kinda started to panic), when Katie started to come in with my mom. I hid Bobby behind my back, trying not to laugh. After some badgering and me trying to explain to mom without letting on to Katie, she saw Bobby. And it wasn't pretty.

I'm pretty sure I remember "YOU KILLED BOBBY!!!" Being her exact words. :P

I assured her I was going to fix Bobby. I went to work.

I brought out the big guns. I tried a butter knife and a mallet, and neither of those things worked. In the end, about 30 minutes and two very sore thumbs later, it turned out I was able to revive Bobby with brute force applied to the amputated region, and a bit of a twisting motion.

Mission accomplish! I was so relieved.

I proudly walked into Katie's room with the mended Bobby, dress on and body parts intact. I happily and tiredly handed it to her with my strained and mangled hands, and she smiled and said thank you.

Then do you know what she said? (True story, I kid you not...)

"We need to take her dress off."

Ha. Haha. Hahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!